Amy's Words
by ShilohHolmes
Summary: First installment in my continuation of season 5 after "Amy's Choice." Takes place at the end of the episode. The Dream Lord had said some terrible things to the Doctor, but Amy's words had hurt much more than his insults. The Doctor had known that Amy would realize that her Raggedy Man wasn't a hero, he just hadnt expected it to happen so soon. Doctor!whump included
1. Chapter 1

_**Hola, Shiloh here:) Wow. I havent posted or updated in sooooooo long and I feel really bad about it:) A while ago I fell in love with Doctor Who, and I figured, hey, why not write something about it:) Sorry if it's OOC or dumb and rambly, it's my first try at a Doctor Who fic. I love the show, but something about the ending of the season 5 episode "Amy's Choice" just didnt satisfy me. Sooooo, I decided to re-write the ending and continue the fifth season in a totally different way. This is not a one-shot, and will be continued in other chapters. Each story will be an episode, so once I finsish this one, I will post another story:) Have a wonderful day, and PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. It's sad, yes, very sad.**_

The Doctor

A familiar humming fills my scrambled mind as I am slowly released from the pleasant depths of unconsciousness. A part of me desperately begs to remain in this field of unawareness, but a larger part urges me to open my eyes. Wait, why are they closed?

Blinding tendrils of light assault my corneas as I lift my eyelids, and I instinctively attempt to cover them with my hand. I gasp in pain as the body part in question is ripped from where it's been frozen to the floor of my TARDIS. Ah, that's right. We'd been hurtling towards a frozen sun.

I leap from my position on the ground, stifling a yelp of pain as bits of my skin are left behind on the ice. My feet dash towards the console and my eyes scan the umpteen amounts of buttons and levers that litter the complicated operating system. I press a few of them tenderly, analyzing the information provided to me by my constant companion. We're safe.

An unconscious sigh of relief escapes my lips, and I momentarily lean against the railing of my ship as exhaustion catches up to me. _Just a moment of rest Doctor, stop running for just a moment. _Exhaustion's sweet voice caresses my mind, and I briefly consider complying with its demands. That is, until the thought of my current companions lying like popsicles on the floor takes center stage in my train of thought.

"Amy, Rory, wakey-wakey," I shout worriedly, racing to the two figures that still remain splayed out on the floor of the TARDIS. Bits of frost and snow are present in Amy's fiery locks, and Rory's frail frame is trembling. Guilt and concern begin to bubble in the pit of my stomach, and I stare at them helplessly. "Now is not the time to leave me hanging. I need you to open those eyes!"

The dozing couple remain in their sleeping state, and my arms unconsciously flail about in frustration. Not good. Definitely not good. I stare at the pair, half hoping that it will somehow rouse them, when a realization washes over me. They look so peaceful.

There isn't a trace of mischief, opposition, anger, uncertainty, or sadness on my Amelia's face. Longing, fear, desperation, confusion, concentration, and worry are absent from the visage of her betrothed. They're so still, so happy, so safe. My gaze lowers from their faces, and comes to rest on their intertwined hands. That's when everything comes back.

The birds, the swing set, Amy's baby, the freezing sun, Rory's ponytail, the old people, the van, the Dream Lord, Rory's death, Amy's Choice. Amy's words.

"Then what's the point of you?"

A surge of pain rips through my hearts and a tear drops onto my cheek. There is so much right with those six words. Amelia had finally realized that her Raggedy Man was anything but a hero.

"Stop it. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and unfreeze your Ponds." I attempt to encourage myself with a bit of humor, falling into my comfortable façade. Multiple plans rush through my head and I sort through them within a matter of seconds, selecting the most complete one. I place a kiss on Amy's forehead, and pat Rory's shoulder reassuringly.

"It's time to warm you up," I announce to the oblivious humans, my TARDIS humming in agreement. I stroke the console lovingly and boost the temperature of the freezing cold room, noticing for the first time that I've been shivering myself. I can feel the change almost immediately, and I mentally thank the Old Girl.

I hesitantly leave the main room of my time machine to retrieve blankets for my companions, returning with thick sources of warmth from various planets. I gingerly drape four over Amy, repeating the gentle procedure with her fiancée. One blanket remains after my mission, and I gratefully snuggle into the comforting fabric, desperate for warmth.

Despite my valiant effort to keep watch over the invalids, I feel my eyelids droop constantly, victims of exhaustion. _Just a moment of rest Doctor, stop running for just a moment. _For once in my life, I do as told, welcoming the warm tendrils of sleep with open arms.

Amy Pond

_Rory, where's Rory? _I come around suddenly, this single thought enlarged in my frantic mind. He had died. Rory had died, and I had just watched. The man that had stayed by my side despite my more charming personality traits was gone.

"Rory?" I croak, surprised at the hoarseness of my voice. My eyes open slowly, and I realize that I'm in the TARDIS. I whip my head around quickly, praying to see my husband alive and well. The sight of him lying beside me causes my heart to leap in my chest. I've never been so glad to see anyone in my entire life.

"Rory, wake up," I mumble as I sit up, stroking his pale cheek with my thumb. Despite my pride, I lay my head on his chest, the sound of his beating heart quelling my panic. He's alive. It had just been a dream.

"Amy, what are you doing?" The sound of Rory's voice laced with confusion (as usual), brings a smile to my face. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling him close. His eyes widen in surprise, but he attentively holds me back, running his stiff fingers through my hair. "Not that I don't enjoy this. This is nice, this is very nice."

I laugh as his words tickle my ears, planting a kiss on his frozen cheek. The surprise on his face is evident, but his lips are pursed into a smile. A cute, oblivious smile that no one else in the universe could manage.

"Why is the TARDIS so cold, where's the Doctor?" Rory's query sparks guilt in my mind as I realize that I haven't even thought to check on my Raggedy Doctor. I turn my eyes from his face, scanning the inside of the blue police box for the missing alien. I spot him almost immediately, as he's lying fast asleep to my immediate right. He looks so peaceful, and I don't want that expression to disappear from his face.

I turn to ask Rory on his opinion of the situation, when I see _him_. He waves to me from the opposite side of the room, adjusting his bowtie. Light reflects off of his exposed hairless head, and a maniac smile is playing on his lips. The terrible lips that had said horrible things to hurt my Doctor.

"_If you had any more tawdry quirks, you could open a tawdry quirk shop."_

_ "There was an old Doctor from Gallifrey who ended up throwing his life away. He let down his friends and, oh no. We've run out of time."_

_ "Poor Amy. He always leaves you, doesn't he? Alone in the dark. Never apologizes,"_

_ " "Friends". Is that the right word for the people you acquire? Friends are people you stay in touch with. Your friends never see you again one they've grown up. The old man prefers the company of the young, does he not?"_

My blood boils and I can feel my cheeks turning a bright red. No one talked to my Doctor like that. I clench my fists and rise from the floor to confront him, when he stops me dead in my tracks. His hungry gaze has landed on Rory, and I quickly realize that we could still be in danger. That we could still be in a dream.

"Doctor!" I scream, the idea of letting him rest completely forgotten. The lanky Time Lord jerks to awareness, his old eyes alert and questioning. Retrieving the sonic from his pocket, the Doctor springs from the floor and races over to me worriedly. His pale eyes sweep over me for injuries, and I can see his shoulders drop slightly in relief when he is satisfied that I'm unharmed.

"It's him, it's the Dream-" The words die on my lips as I turn to point at the villain, only to realize that he's disappeared. The Doctor's eyes are trained on me, and they're filled with a mix of multiple emotions. Guilt, pity, confusion, worry, and other swirls of sentiment I can't identify.

"Amy, it's ok. He's gone. Everything is back to normal, and everyone is safe," My best friend moves to comfort me, but steps back uncomfortably before he can wrap his arms around my shoulders. I frown, confused at his hesitation. "What about you Rory, have you still got your sanity?"

"Uh, yeah, yeah, I think so. Bit confused as to what happened back there, but I'm use to that. Happy that everyone's alright," Rory is standing behind me as he finishes his sentence, and I feel his arms snake around my waist and clasp in front of my stomach.

"So you're both peachy, then?" The Doctor is staring at us intently, positioned stiffly before the controls of the TARDIS. I can feel my fiancée nod behind me, and I decide to do the same. I'm usually one to state my opinion, but something about the suspense in the air keeps me quiet.

"Quite right then. You two, make yourselves at home. I'm going to blow up the TARDIS." My jaw drops and the Time Lord who has just spoken has already busied himself with dashing about the console, clearly unwilling to answer any questions. Since when has that stopped me?

"What do you mean; you're going to 'blow up the TARDIS', We passed the test, the dream is over. We're safe, you just said so." The Doctor pauses briefly in his flurry of mad movements to give me a look of impatience, his mouth moving dumbly as he tries to formulate words that will simply explain what's going on. "Well spit it out, Bowtie."

"The Dream Lord has absolutely no power of reality. We've been in a single dream, branching off into two dreams the entire time. Neither world was real, we're still sleeping. He couldn't actually make us choose, make us die." At the beginning of his explanation the Doctor had been self-consciously patting his bow-tie, but by the end he had sobered up and filled his eyes with a burning determination that could send people running.

"Get ready for one heck of a pinch," The wild grin on the alien's face causes my heart to speed up in my chest, and my hands to grip onto the nearest railing. The TARDIS quakes and quivers, cracks of golden light appearing in the grated floor as an intense heat occupies the room. Rory and I link arms together simultaneously, thankful for the comfort that the other can provide.

Boom. I snuggle further into Rory's hold and sneak one last look at my Raggedy Doctor before darkness takes over. The loneliness and despair evident on his pale visage break my heart, and I reach out to include him in our sense of security before everything disappears.


	2. Chapter 2

_Amy Pond_

"Amy? Doctor? What just happened?" I open my eyes to the sound of Rory's voice, expecting to be greeted by the sight of a burnt and ravaged TARDIS. The pristine console room that greets my eyes is the last thing that I am expecting.

"Basically I woke us up. Blowing up the TARDIS was like a nice bucket of ice cold water to our dreaming minds. I'm sure that you two have a lot of catching up to do; you're confused, traumatized, and scared. Why don't you go to bed and sleep it off, I'll just get rid of the spores that caused this big mess." A smile is plastered on the Time Lord's face as he speaks, but he hasn't met my eyes once during his entire spiel. I open my mouth to question him, when Rory cuts me off.

"What are spores? Doctor, what's going on? Where's the Dream Lord, is he gone?" My fiancée rattles off questions nervously, his head swiveling as he searches for our enemy. I decide not to interrupt, as I want to hear the answer to his queries as well.

"Oh, right, explanations, sorry. Basically the telepathic spores caused my dark side to come out and torment us in a collective dream. The Dream Lord was me, all the traits, thoughts, and feelings that compose a side of me that I'm not proud of. Both worlds were a dream, a figment of the imagination. We're perfectly safe," The Doctor paused his speech as he pressed a button on the console, smiling in satisfaction. "Now that I've released the trapped spores from my ship."

I nod silently, pondering the Doctor's words in my mind. Both of those realities, wait, no, dreams, had seemed so real. They had both been examples of two lifestyles I had wanted to experience, and I both had seemed so perfect. Sure I wasn't ready to settle down and have a family just yet, but- wait. What did the Doctor mean, "The Dream Lord was me,"?

"What do you mean, you're the Dream Lord? You said that no one hated you as much as he did. Doctor, you don't hate yourself, do you?" My heart stops beating when he looks up at me, remorse and certainty in his ancient orbs. He doesn't speak, but for once I can read exactly what he's thinking from his expression. I gasp and shake my head disbelievingly, pulling my hero into a hug.

He seems to melt into my arms for a moment, but his body is tense before I can blink. My brow furrows as I rub his back reassuringly, once again confused by his actions. I pull away from him, training my stare on his face. He looks away ashamedly, fiddling with the cuffs of his tweed jacket.

"Doctor, why?" I ask simply, the look on his face shattering my heart. He opens his mouth to respond, but his gaze hardens and he turns away from me, his hands ghosting over the controls. Rory looks at me confused, concern written on his face for the man standing before us.

"Never mind that, I'm taking you two home until I can confirm that the TARDIS is stabilized," The Doctor's voice is clipped and tight, and his fingers are already dancing over the console. Rory and I stiffen at his words, our jaws dropping in protest.

"What do you mean, you're taking us home? You just told us that the TARDIS was perfectly fine!" I'm surprised at the opposition in Rory's voice, as he would usually jump at the chance to go home.

"Yes, well I lied. Get use to it, you can't trust me!" The harsh tone laced into the Doctor's reply causes me to take a step back. I place my hands on my hips and stride towards him, determined to figure out his change in attitude. The TARDIS shifts suddenly before I can get to him, and Rory catches me under the arms before I hit the ground. A slight trace of worry and guilt flash in the Doctor's eyes, but they're gone the moment he realizes that I'm fine. He turns away from us and walks quickly towards the doors of the TARDIS.

"Doctor what are you doing, you promised me that we'd go travelling! You can't take us home, I don't want to go back! I waited for you for so long; you're not leaving me again!" My last statement stops him dead in his tracks, but he doesn't turn to face me.

"I'll be back within a week," He opens the doors slowly, motioning for Rory and I to follow. We stand our ground stubbornly, and I feel a flash of pride towards my husband. I'm finally rubbing off on him.

"I haven't got all day, get out of the-"The Doctor is stopped mid-sentence as a hand roughly clamps a rag over his mouth. His eyes widen in legitimate panic, begging for Rory and I to help him. Within seconds they roll backwards sickly, his body slumping into the arms of his attacker. I jump to action at the sight of my Doctor so still, rage consuming my mind. I can feel Rory move behind me, but the world stands still as the Doctor's assailant places a knife to his neck. I stop mid-stride, my arm shooting out to restrain Rory. I can feel bile rising in my throat, and my mind is whirring at a hundred miles an hour.

The man holding the limp form of the Doctor reaches into the Time Lord's pockets, retrieving his sonic. I remain still as he brandishes the intergalactic screwdriver purposefully, locking the doors of the TARDIS with the touch of a button. The moment the pair is out of sight I race forwards, banging on the blue doors of the space ship as hard as I can. Tears have already began their decent down my face, my shoulders shaking as I attempt to reach my Raggedy Man.

"Open up, can't you see I'm trying to get to him!" I wail desperately, aiming all of my emotions at the telepathic time machine I call home. The ship doesn't respond, and the only thing preventing me from kicking the wall is the comforting presence of my husband who has wrapped his arms around my shaking form. He turns me around, meeting my gaze. Puddles of fear and worry are present in his blue eyes, but an even bigger pool of determination seems to swallow them up.

"Don't worry Amy, we'll get him back, I promise." I nod feebly in agreement with his words, piecing my pride together. I've never reacted to anything like this before in my life, but something about the demeanor of the Doctor had chipped away my defenses. Why had he been so sad?

"Then what's the point of you?"

The words echo throughout my mind loudly. My words. Words that I had said to the Doctor before he had willingly killed himself for me.

"We've got to find him Rory," I whisper dejectedly, my mind generating thousands of things that could be happening to the Doctor. "I need him. I need him so much."


End file.
